Do You Read Food Labels?

On a forum I frequent this poll was posted today:

Do you read food labels before making purchases?

Yes - I spend a lot of time scrutinizing labels.

Sometimes – It depends on what the food is.

Not often – Labels aren't important to me.

This poll is fundamentally flawed, as no mother can really answer it. It presumes that Mom is able to go shopping without her brood in tow. Labels are important to me; I'd love to be able to scrutinize them, but I haven't had the ability to read a food label in at least three years. Here's a typical exchange while trying to decide on, oh, peanut butter:

Me: Peanut butter, peanut butter... where's the doggone peanut butter?

Kid1: Mom, can I have the Super Crunchy Awesome Pile'o'sugar Bombs? Please? They're on sale!!!

Me: Not now, I'm looking for peanut butter, do you see the peanut butter? (As I say it, I am taking the bread, now squished, from Kid3's hand.)

Kid2: wheeeeeeeeeeee! (Don't ask... it involves spinning and sliding in the aisle)

We enter the third aisle, still looking for peanut butter...

Me: Grab the plates. You, grab the taco shells. Hey! Stop squishing the bread, you turkey.

Kid1: I'll get the turkey. (runs off)

Me: Wait! We don't need turkey! Your brother is the turkey! Grab a straightjacket if you see one!

Kid4: bbbbbbbblllllllllllpt (this involves lots of drool.... but it's cute and entertains the old people shopping)

Elderly Man: What a sweet little boy. (said while gazing at the baby dressed in nauseating cotton-candy pink ruffles)

Me: Thank you very much. We love her so. (arm whips out to stop the spinning child before I need dramamine)

Kid1: They're out of turkey. So, have you thought about the Sugar Bombs? Crusty Crunchy Chocos are good too.

Kid3: Mine! (grabbing for the eggs)

Me: Ok... that's everything... (grabs nutter butter cookies, sugar free koolaid, and a bag of tortilla chips on the way to the checkout)

Later, upon unloading the shopping bags in the kitchen....

Me: WHERE IS THE PEANUT BUTTER???

Now... did you notice any label reading?