Surgery, Panic and You: A Cautionary Tale

Scheduling surgery is a piece of cake, right? Unless you're me. I have to think of all kinds of things. Stupid things.

It makes perfect sense that I have been up at night for the better part of a week trying to figure out what to do with Things 1, 2, 3 & 4... I mean... they're my children. I'm supposed to know where they are, what they're doing and whom they're doing what with. And in my absence or medically induced coma, I'm still responsible for that.

And speaking of being responsible, who will drive me to this little procedure? Mom? Our Fearless Leader? Certainly not me, myself and I. Well... I could drive there, but they won't let me go home without a chaperone. Given my panicked and half-crazed mood of late, maybe I would actually be a better drive while still anesthetized? I guess we'll never know.

Things we'll never know, or need to think about... yeah. Um. Ladies? Have you ever had to schedule a surgery for anything other than a c-section? That's the only surgery I can think of that you wouldn't have to schedule around.... You know... the crazy aunt who seems to find you at nearly the same time 12 times a year? Yeah. That one. Do you know how hard it is to schedule around her schedule? Fun times. Fun times.

And what about once I get home (assuming I get to come home on the same day - and what if I don't?)... what will be for dinner? Who's gonna cook it? I'm fairly certain that if I can't drive, I shouldn't operate small appliances. (You have read my pancake story, have you not?) For the sake of all that's holy, I should not set foot in the kitchen within 24 hours of The Procedure - combustibles and consumables don't mix well with a drugged up housewife with a drain and stitches in her neck. Ewww.

I also made the mistake of googling The Procedure (specifically a thyroid lobectomy) - all I can say is no one should google anything before donating themselves to medical science. It is possible to know too much. I wonder if they have drugs to make me forget? Will my insurance cover them? Before or after the deductible?

What about the bills? Are they paid up? Have I done payroll yet? Is payroll the same week as The Procedure? Nevermind the fact that The Procedure is an outpatient surgery lasting 1.5 hours and I'll likely be home the same day... this stuff can wait! Or can it? Will I need to hire myself out as an Outpatient of the Evening to meet my deductible? What about my blog? What about my fora? What about picking up the mail? What if I die? (Did I mention this is routine outpatient surgery?) What if my vocal chords are damaged? (My kids might go for this one. In fact, they might pool their allowances together and pay the surgeon a little something under the table... Hm. I wonder if I've paid allowances recently?)

So many questions, so little sleep.

A New Look for A New Day

Yeah. That's it. It's a new day, so I've put on some new colors. Actually I screwed up my source code and didn't save it. (Have I ever mentioned that I know just enough about HTML to be extremely dangerous?) Eh. It was time for a change. And like hair and dye, we can always try something new if this doesn't work out. Right?

Which reminds me of a recent bet with the 8yo. He was certain Our Fearless Leader was going to yell at him for something he'd done. Despite my assurances to the contrary, he wandered through his day certain of a verbal lashing. I promised him that if Our Fearless Leader did actually yell at him, I would dye my hair pink. I don't know that he believed me... but I really would have done it.

My hair is still a lovely, unnatural shade of brownish-red (or whatever color fancied the Gifted Hairdresser some weeks ago). Come to think of it, the Gifted Hairdresser would have been shocked (possibly even grieved and appalled) had I dyed my hair pink. Maybe I would have given her the honor of doing it? We'll never know.

Why People Don't Vote

It has nothing to do with the candidates and how well-suited they are or how much experience they lack. It has nothing to do with proximity to polls or access to early voting ballots. It has nothing to do with arranging the day just perfectly so a ballot can be cast without dragging all the children to the polls for a community civics lesson.

It's all about the phone calls.

It's only going to get worse. There are still about 88 hours left until the polls close on Tuesday. At the rate of 3 "Vote for MEEEEEEeeeeeeee" pre-recorded phone calls an hour, one should expect another 264 pleas for votes. Have you cleared your voicemail lately? Are YOU ready for the onslaught? And really... does the pre-recorded message sneakily calling you from seven states away really persuade you to do anything other than rip the phone from the wall and chuck it in the recycle bin? (Can you throw a phone away in a recycle bin? Or does it have corrosive evil components that must be hand delivered to your town's annual Caustic Substance Collection? [And does anyone REALLY know how the Caustic Substances are disposed of when the Go-Green crowd has gone home for the day? Are the contents itemized? Or are they just chucked in the big dumpster behind City Hall? {I should call someone about this. But it's 2:30a.m. and I'll be busy doing something tomorrow... I wonder if I can record my question and...}])

Schedules and Sanity

Schedules are required for maintaining a semblance of sanity. At least in OUR household they are. I just finished our tentative daily schedule for the coming school year. It always takes a month to work out the kinks, but it should serve quite well for the time being. Preschool is about to start up for the year, religion and sacrament prep classes, too. Oh, and let's not forget Scouts. And when will the baby nap?

All I can say is that I love Excel and I love that I can color code my charts. It makes the nerd in me giddy.

Diaper Covers and Little Girls

Miss M is kiddo #4 - we've been around the block a few times with dirty diapers and have come to understand that diaper covers are non-negotiable with babies. Especially babies who like the sound of velcro in the morning. These days, diaper covers are tough to find. A brilliant friend of mine suggested using underwear a size or two larger than a baby would wear and it's worked great.

However...

Kid #4 has had the privilege of watching WB potty train. And what do we all do for newly trained kids? Buy them special undies, of course! WB now sports super cool Spiderman boxer briefs.

Guess who LOVES Spiderman?

Miss M has been carrying on for DAYS about "Man." She loves Man. She watches Man cartoons. She envies her brother's super cool undies. And today... today she tried to dress her Baby in Man undies, as well as herself. The giggling "no" I gave her was met with a shrieking fit.

Spiderman! My arch enemy? Could it be?

Another Project Done

After 3 months, I have finally finished staining my shelves for the kitchen. I can prove it, too!

Ta da!!!

The Schedule

After talking about it, I figured I should post a few pictures of the vertical picture schedule I made for Wonder Boy. It's similar to the one used in his preschool (lol, he laments that his home schedule is not blue like his school schedule).

There are about 12 boxes with velcro tabs on them. Each of the picture cards also has velcro so that they can be attached and arranged any way we need them. Oh - I laminated all of this for durability.

There is nothing funnier than to hear WB yell, "I doe deh ma dedoe," (I go check my schedule.) when we say it's time for the next thing. And yes, he lives for snack.